Building #3

Two years ago this month I moved into my cozy little apartment with a home office ready to take on the legal world. When I'm not on the road, I can be found here, plugging away on my computer and trying to keep my dog from barking while I'm on the phone with clients. I'm usually hunkered down for most of the day, the majority of nights and an occasional weekend.

Perhaps I would be more productive if I was not distracted by getting my laundry done, or cleaning my kitchen, or oh wait, my dog really needs a walk right now, and dang it I must run to the grocery store pronto. Or perhaps if I kept my suit on for the remainder of the day, instead of changing into jeans and flip flops the second I got home. Either way, I get the job done eventually. 

Although sometimes I need extra motivation.

But working from home proves interesting in other areas as well. I'm starting to become more intimate with the happenings in Building #3 and the complex as a whole.

The most intimate happening would be the relations between Back Wall Neighbor and myself. I'm going to spare the details for now (I know, the juiciest part and I'm not spilling it). Let's just say that after two years of bumping into each other, while walking our dogs mostly, I finally took the commandment to "love thy neighbor" to heart. We went out. Saw each other a few more times after that. It was great. Really great actually. But for now (again I'm sparing a lot of details here) we are trying to go back to just being neighbors. Which we all know will not work and makes this unique situation that much harder. Especially when you can't help but hope that any moment he'll walk by. (Confession: I may or may not be sitting on my newly furnished patio as I type this - but hey the weather is beautiful this evening).

If Back Wall Neighbor doesn't come to his senses, I might have a chance with Across the Hall Neighbor. He appears to be a newly divorced, nice, middle-aged man. He's lived across the hall from me since August but aside from distant waves we had never spoken until last week. I was walking towards my apartment and he was getting out of his car. I picked up my pace as it was night and I live alone and I don't like to open my apartment door when there are people walking behind me. He apparently was picking up his pace too because he wanted to talk to me. He caught up with me at our landing, gave me his name, and shook my hand. This past Sunday as I'm trying to get my dog to pee! pee! pee! as I was late for church, I hear a "Good Morning Becki" with the pungent smell of cigar smoke wafting down from the balcony above me. Oh no, I think. But hey, at least I may have options.

But then, there's always the pilot who lives in the back of the complex. The one that drunkenly tells me he hasn't seen me in awhile and has been thinking about me. The one that soberly makes his friend slow down the car so he can roll down the window and chat with me for a bit.

Anyway.

Today, as I continue to struggle with the whole love your neighbor battle, I make a quick run to the grocery store. As I leave my apartment I run into a former student of mine. I taught 7th grade but this man is definitely not 13. He is not only taller and bigger than me, he is now a functioning adult living on his own. Gee, I feel old. And gee, isn't this awkward. I try to avoid eye contact (we've almost run into each other before) as I try to console myself that he won't recognize me. My policy with former students has always been: if they acknowledge you, acknowledge them, but if they don't, let them be.

Last year, I had a former student of mine living next door. These were different circumstances as our brothers were friends and we belonged to the same church. While I still felt old, it was fun having a neighbor I knew so well and one I could count on to pick up my mail when I was gone for a week. Don't worry, I took her shotgun shooting in return.

After making my quick run to the store (and after a mishap with the orange display - it wasn't me! they just collectively decided to take a dive - all 10 of them), I return to my complex to find more romance awaits in Building #3. Only it doesn't involve me. Humph.

There is a lovers' quarrel in Spanish. I pretend I don't understand, but their Spanish is really clear and I actually do get bits and phrases. They aren't happy with each other - that's clear. They were arguing when I left.

The other couple is lingering in the parking lot saying a slow and affectionate goodbye before I lose them behind an SUV. They're probably smooching. Then the man walks wistfully up the stairs.

It must be spring.

So here I sit and here I've sat for the past hour on a patio in Building #3. No neighborly sightings of any kind. Well, except for the German Shepherd and his married owner (who suspiciously looks like he goes to my church, hmm). Perhaps that's it for the daily digest of As the Complex Turns. But then, there's always that nightly walk just before bedtime when my dog has to go out one last time....until then....that's all from Building #3.

P.S. For fans of Mr. Hotel Clerk:

I have seen Mr. HC twice since my post about him but unfortunately thoughts of Back Wall Neighbor kept me from pursuing anything further with him. Well, that and the fact that I couldn't get over our age gap. I'm pretty sure he came to the same conclusion I did. Sorry to disappoint, but thanks for the support.

Liberty Jail





When I was in Kansas City in February, I made a stop at a place called Liberty Jail. An ironic name for a jail I know. This jail is an important part of early Mormon history, but perhaps not for reasons you might think.

 

 

It was at this jail, in the brutal winter of 1838-39, that the first president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and Mormon Prophet, Joseph Smith, was unjustly incarcerated for four months. He, and the other early church leaders that were arrested with him, suffered harsh cold, hunger, and sickness in their cramped quarters with a ceiling height of just six feet. Their suffering was made worse with the knowledge that their families and other Saints were being driven from their homes under Missouri Governor Lilburn Bogg's mandate that "the Mormons...must be exterminated or driven from the state."

 



 

This was one of the darkest times in Joseph's Smith's short life. Five years after this incident, he would be found in yet another jail under unjust charges and would lose his life at the hands of a mob.

 

Despite the evil and awfulness that occurred at Liberty Jail, Mormons or Latter-day Saints choose to remember it for the beautiful lessons that were taught there. This is why the jail is now restored and protected by the Visitor's Center you see below.

 



I arrived on a Thursday evening and found with delight that I would have my own personal tour. I had been here several years before but wanted to revisit it in hopes that I might remember a few things. A lovely sister missionary from the state of Washington was my tour guide.

As I learned about the events leading up to Joseph Smith's incarceration here and the trial of his faith as he endured the conditions, I was reminded that all is not lost in times of despair however brutally painful our despair may be. Of course, no one wants to hear that, myself included. Joseph Smith even cried out in his agony, "O God, where art thou?...How long shall thy hand be stayed..?"

I'm sure we have all thought this at some point in our lives. I've always known that there is a God. I've always known that He is near and will not abandon me. But I have not always agreed with His timing or what He may allow to happen in my life. There have been times when I too have asked, "Can't I be done yet? Haven't I learned enough by now?" Apparently, I still have a ways to go.

While I have never doubted the existence of God and His love for me in times of trial, I do often forget to turn to Him for strength. After all, I'm an independent go-getter, I can fix things on my own. But by forgetting or refusing to turn to Him, I miss out on His support and the lessons He would have me learn.

Joseph Smith turned to God in his despair and was given, among other lessons, this one that is often quoted by Latter-day Saints.

If thou art called to pass through tribulation...if thou art in perils among robbers; if thou art in perils by land or by sea...If thou art accused with all manner of false accusations; if thine enemies fall upon thee; And if thou shouldst be cast into the pit, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good.

 The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he?

 Therefore, hold on thy way...

These words may not be very comforting in times of despair. Who cares about experience when you're drowning in sorrow? But the part I do find comforting is that Christ "descended below them all." As a Christian, I believe that Christ not only died for us (every single one of us) but that he atoned for us (every single one of us) in the Garden of Gethsemane. This means that He not only suffered for our sins but for our heartaches and sorrows, our longings and injustices. He, who was perfect, suffered all that He might "succor those in need." He knows what we are going through because He has been there. He has felt what we feel. The grace that comes through this atonement is an enabling power that offers divine strength and love. In times of despair, if we turn to God instead of away from Him, we can feel of this strength, this love, and somehow, day by day, we can make it through even the toughest of times.

I have had an opportunity this month to reflect on the atonement of Jesus Christ as I've taught this topic to my 15 and 16 year olds in Sunday school class. I try not to wax religious on my blog but found it hard not to given my stop in Kansas City and the approaching Easter holiday.

While I would really, really appreciate an easier way - perhaps a Get Out of Jail Free card, I am grateful to know that through the atonement of Jesus Christ I can find peace and comfort and strength to face the heartaches and challenges of my day. It may require constant prayer and constant searching, but I can make it step by step as I walk with my Savior and become ever closer to Him. The power of the atonement is real. Of that I testify.

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